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Archive for February, 2011

Well, where to start?

School has been going great, I really love it. It offers the right amount of balance between spiritual growth, core material and science. I’ve really been enjoying my body/mind/spirit class. It’s taught me how our bodies really do know what’s best for us and often tell us. But when we fight it and go against our initial feeling, wishes or deepest desires, our body lashes back with a symptom. This symptom can be that of an innocent one but a symptom nonetheless. The longer we go without listening to ourselves, the worse the symptom gets. If you think about it, it all makes sense. How does someone get cancer, heart disease, diabetes, tumors, cysts, etc? They don’t contract these things from other people, they are all self-inflicted due to poor eating habits, stress, inner conflict, depression, etc. I’m really into this stuff we’re learning.

My poor pup has been roughing it out all on her own and I have to congratulate her on being a good girl so far (fingers crossed). Work has been not so great. As I enter back into the world of serving, I have quickly remembered how miserable it was the first time. Nothing has changed. I hate the fact that I rest my paycheck in the hands of someone else. I have to deliberately kiss their ass for my money, and they know it, so most of them take advantage of it. I never look forward to going in for my shift and I dwell on the fact that I have to go to work days before even going in. I have only had 2 shifts on my own and made $65 for both nights combined. For the number of hours I have put in and the end result of money I have made, I might as well be working an hourly job. This is where I am torn. I want so desperately to leave this place of work and find something else, but understand this is only temporary and will ultimately bring in more money, once season hits, than an hourly job. So what do I do? Do I go against my instinct and possibly suffer or go with it? I have already started looking for a new job but realized immediately how hard it is going to be to find something.

I will meditate on this dilemma and see what comes to me.

As for eats around here, simplicity is the norm. I pack my lunches with a soup of some kind, raw almonds, clementines, bananas and herbal tea. I have recently joined Weight Watchers to help me grasp the concept of portion control. I admit I was embarrassed to go to my first meeting because I was very skeptical. I thought I knew what to do and I thought I was eating right but the scale wasn’t moving. After being on weight watchers for a week, I realize that I did know what to eat but I was eating too much of it. Going through my points and measuring things out has left me in shock at what a serving size actually is. I would think to myself, “That’s it? That can’t be a serving.” I would reread the box and recalculate the points and thought to myself, “this will never fill me up.” Well, I was wrong. Although the food doesn’t leave me feeling stuffed, I find that I am satisfied and like this new way of living. I’ve also learned to compromise. Compromise eating light and healthy all day to have that cup of pasta for dinner. So far, I have lost only a few pounds from what reflects on my scale but I need to weigh in at the next meeting to know for sure. I give myself the unfair advantage of weighing with no cloths on and first thing in the morning when the meetings weight you fully clothed and at the end of the day.

I had to “freeze” my yoga account until school is over. I did not realize just how time consuming it would all be and I would rather enjoy my yoga time rather than forcing it in when I have a second. Plus, when I am freed up and want to go to yoga I have to go to one of the times scheduled compared to walking into a gym and my workout begins right then. So, this was yet another sacrifice to the end result of something better. I know I will have my yoga studio in my life again but for now I may just buy a yoga DVD and start a home practice.

There you have it. A condensed update on my life and how things are going. I am still planning on blogging and feel like it would be beneficial to me but I must apologize in advance for the lack of pictures. It is easier for me to sit down and write as of this moment than it is for me to make something, take a picture and then insert recipe. It’s not that my pictures are departing forever but they will not be in every post as they have been.

Oh, and just in case you’re interested, my initial weigh in was 165 lbs. I will update this every time I attend a meeting and weigh in. Thanks for sticking around and reading! 🙂

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